Centre stage!
so yesterday i was so proud to read that my friend (and yes it makes me even prouder to say that!!!) mr. sivanandan has been appointed director general of police!!!!
a man of incredible integrity and great humility- i am always in awe of him when i do meet him! it is easy to abuse power and position and he is one of the few men who never abuses either. a supporter of my every endeavor, he is always offered me valuable advice and insight. when i have needed help in any way or even lost faith in work that i am pursuing; his words of encouragement make me strive harder! Â in a world where appearances are planned and pre-planned, where logo sizes are more important than what a company stands for and where being late is fashionable and being on time, a sign of failure- this is the one man who breaks every rule and commands the respect of a crowd and of a city–because he deserves it!
he just is. there are no trappings, no starry tantrums, no brick walls to break down to get to him– he is available, accountable and it is his assurances that have made us feel safe in the city today! he doesn’t play the blame game and the buck stops with him! direct, to the point and with a no-nonsense approach ; he won over the trust of a city reeling from the worst calamity in years- 26/11! he gave us our city back and i feel safe now!
thank you mr. sivanandan for making the mumbai police easier to approach,web savvy, fitter and safer!
with you as director general…i know our country takes one large step in the right direction!
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And now the time has come….another year has passed me by!
And in this year , I’ve learnt, learnt so much- to accept, Â to question why….
I’m off for my birthday! My birthday is on sunday and I’m off…away from the city, away from heat and noise and gyms
And as happy as i am about that and as much as i need , deserve and really , really want this break…i’m going to miss the pampering back home and the million calls and greetings….! i am carrying my phone and another sim too….aditya is a good man! he knows that i’ll miss the wishes and i am going to try and log on at least once during my very short 4 day trip to say hi! but i really need to escape…even if it’s just for the weekend….so buh bye! and i only hope that my new year will bring me all the amazing experience s my last year brought….thank you for new friends, new readers, new opinions and new experiences….thanks to you…i’m learning how to make each day count!
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so yesterday’s blog attracted alot of attention….some people felt we were on the right page….and that infidelity was indeed becoming common…others felt…that it wasn’t such a big deal!
to those who felt it was not a big deal and that men are essentially not monogamous…. to them i ask, that if a family is created on the basis of trust and fidelity and in this unit you create children an a home; don’t you owe it to the institution of marriage…( man-created institution, as it might be) your complete, undivided attention. it’s like you cannot work in 2 competing companies simultaneously…it’s a conflict of interests….to think that urs are the only interests that matter in a relationship is selfish and stupid….if you can’t remain monogamous…why not stay out of a relationship!? i have several male friends who are great fun to hang out with, watch bad films with , cry to and even gossip about….but a physical relationship…is a no-no! that’s the one thing i commit to the one person i’m with….
by saying that you are monogamous…doesn’t cut out other friends in ur life but keep them as friends is my advice because members of the opposite sex can be great friends and help you thru many issues that ur girl-friends can’t….but draw that line. they’ll respect you and you’ll respect you!
and about being completely fulfilled by one person and whether that can happen…if ur still asking..u haven’t found the right person yet! 
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a shocking and revealing fact has finally hit home in my thick hard skull…
1.Infidelity-not that common and
2. Worse still- people accept it!
I have always been brought up to believe that marriages are forever and that if after trying everything it doesn’t work…you divorce and go your separate ways…! Affairs and mistresses were things that rich businessmen in the west succumbed to….or bollywood sometimes! it’s not. It’s way more common than you think! During a conversation with a friend last week , I was told that when she was getting married, eons ago …advice given to her by an older ‘aunty’ was to that affair happen…she should ‘grow up and face the facts!’ recently a newspaper published a ’study’ that cheating spouses ‘lived longer!!!??!!!!’ WHAT!??? what rubbish and what kind of a society have we become to think that something as horrible as breaking the trust of marriage is ‘okay!’ and that we should be grown ups about this!
another friend argued and said but how do we know where our husbands go when on long trips…i mean men were men eventually! that is NOT AN EXCUSE! men must be men….we wouldn’t want them any way else…but men can also be loyal men and faithful men and our knights in shining armor! that’s the type of man i chose as my husband and fidelity is something we both expect….it is not negotiable…it’s not a warranty based relationship! we took an oath to be with each other thru thick and thin like my parents did and there’s did and generations before that and we plan to work our troubles out and not run into the open arms of  any floozie by night that seems like a viable option ‘at the time!’
i always thought that it was the sleazy director who i saw put his sweat filled palm on an actress’ thigh that might be a cheater but to think that people i knew thought it might be ok…was shocking, disastrous and unacceptable.
this is our rule…if you cheat…you are out! same rule for the both of us….and truth be told…I LOVE RULES! 
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so i know alot of us notice that over the weekend , we pack in sooooooooooo much it’s like we’re so much more exhausted on a monday than we were on friday! in our urge to do EVERYTHING FUN-we often overdo it and on sunday night end up with a cold or cough, tired, cranky and more than a lil exhausted! such was the case last night for me!!! we had done 3 dinners, 3 lunches, 3 coffee dates, 1 movie, 9 tv shows, 1 pooja, 1 visit to temple, play rehearsals, 3 different friend-groups meeting n catching up, weekend massive house cleanings and 2 birthday celebrations AND the gym! this doesn’t include emails for work and scheduling rehearsals, meetings and other work related issues…cos u see on the weekend , i don’t count work! so anyway…i have decided to start scheduling a bit of fun every day …so i can have a crazy, but a heck of alot less crazy weekend…so coffee date no. 1 shall happen today! 2 shows shall be watched today and rehearsals shall be scheduled today…!
the pooja was a fun affair with the pujari focussing less on the pooja and more on the gathering family that had come together….! he flashed his 2 gold teeth liberally while his fellow pujari took not one but 3 phone calls in the span of an hour…each phone call lasting no less than 7-8 minutes! pleased at his wide fan base the pujari narrated story after story comparing heaven at one point to a 5 star hotel! how he knew…was not asked lest he break into another story-telling spiel! what i did love however was the energy and joy he spent on each story…not bothering that 4 of the senior family members had already fallen asleep in their chairs thanks to the humid weather and his rhythmic speech pattern! He didn’t care…he kept performing!
3 hours in lunch was served and it was already sunday evening!
lesson to learn-: EAT and then go out! ;-0
lesson to learn-: enjoy  the weekend but don’t stuff it like an over – stuffed suitcase! pack it enough…but leave space for surprising treats!
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So I’m a rather social creature….it’s easy to spot me at a party, a friend’s gathering, a movie premiere and even the odd book launch or 2….so yesterday when I was invited to be a part of the launch of oscar Award winner and fellow malayalee, Resul Pookutty’s autobiography….I happily jumped at the chance. My father’s family was the royal family of Cochin; but in Mumbai, kerala is almost another galaxy…far far away…The chance to meet other Malayalees , forget converse is near impossible….and so this seemed like a wonderful chance to flaunt my roots and enjoy my cultural heritage! An evening of funny stories, anecdotes (mostly in Malayalam, some in English) and wonderfully , talented human beings was in store for us….but what I admired most was A.R. Rehman’s incredible presence and his short, interesting and relevant speech which praised Resul and wished him luck for his foray into writing! The speech , all of 2 minutes, showed that where unlike some other speakers (that i have seen) who feel the need to speak for 1 hr or more showed that to keep an audience interested and to keep an evening interesting….a great speaker must not move off subject, be to the point, with an anecdote or 2 and then wrap up when the audience is still yearning for more!
another mark of greatness i think, is to be on time! i have seen this with sachin tendulkar, amitabh bachchan and resul yesterday…you don’t need to keep an audience waiting or be fashionably late because an audience respects those who respect their time!
all in all despite staring an hour late and aditya not understanding a word of malayalam and the vote of thanks speaker being far too liberal with the length of her speech….it was an evening of greatness and inspiration!
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So the time of year has come to start celebrating birthdays…the first one being by mom’s pet cocker-spaniel and her son– Champ!
So happy birthday champ….You have always been my  friend and singing companion….We’ve shared love for the same singers and enjoyed listening to music for hours together. You have listened to my secrets without judgement and been my pillow when I’ve just needed a soft toy to hug! We have shared games together and jokes together…you made me exercise and at the same time you’ve spoilt me by showing me what a peaceful sleep looks like…I envy your quiet, calm, uncomplicated mind! When Cookie came in to my life and my arms , you made way for her and allowed me to become her constant companion. never once did you hold back affection or be envious of the love i give her. Every time, we are together, I am amazed how you have the maturity of an adult and yet the exuberance of a child….You teach me so much and I am always grateful! I love you!
My protector ( you have jumped up to ’save’ me when we’ve played at mock fights to see your reactions!), my guide ( especially since I am the most clumsy walker int he world) and my coolest friend….I love you my soft-toy-buddy! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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So i honestly believe that this is the hottest may ever…now I always remember the birthday month being hot but this month i’m just dripping sweat…the heavy workout in the morning never seems to be early enough and the cold shower, never seems to be cold enough! it actually seems like the universe’s payback for years of destruction—yup, school taught us right…this is what global warming seems to be all about!
and in the midst of this madness , is erratic , crazy me trying to set up millions of meetings to get 2 shows off the ground! while people are trying to leave early or go on vacation, there I am trying to get them to work a bit longer and make 2 pet projects come true….!
birthday next sunday on the 23rd and for the first time….i’m calm….i’m looking forward to pampering and fun, laughter and a day where one is forgiven for ‘just taking off…just because!’ it’s on a sunday….so well it’s like everyone’s celebrating it with me!!!! countdown shall start this weekend….for the funnest, calmest, coolest birthday ever!
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so haven’t been able to write and nope it’s not been a case of writer’s block…it’s just been a case of extreme exhaustion and a general depression that has crept into me over the last few days….now depression is a pretty alien concept for people like me (loud, smiling, causing havoc and parties!) but that’s just it…it’s terribly hard to be positive all the time , to remain happy regardless…..you have a tough few days of work and when most people can blame their boss or their co-workers….i can’t really blame my boss–me! and the annoying thing about m.s. ( my illness) is that my downs or lows are heightened many times over…so though i may not be as depressed as i am feeling…my body just goes into ’super depressed mode’ and that’s it, then!!!! i know what it’s doing. i understand it….but am powerless to stop it!—- this is my excuse for my lack of communication on my blog. and i am sorry!
qasab sentencing done….death! and i feel nothing….i would’ve thought that the sentencing would make me feel–that we did good, that he deserves it….that justice has finally prevailed….. but there’s just a dull , gnawing ache….! killing him was something we needed to do…but even that might take another 18 months….or more! and that’s ridiculous! and by killing him….we don’t get back those many innocent lives he killed that day. by hanging him, we don’t erase the pain of so many families….terror is such a thoughtless, senseless belief. and even after it leaves ; the after shocks still leaves lives shattered and cities collapsed for years to come.
walk into a hotel…it’a a 10 minute security check and even then we’re not sure we’re safe enough…the fear lives on well after the attacks are over and that’s what’s terrible! and for ever qasab that we put to death some other uneducated, louts take his place in instilling terror in the world, intent on making us never feel safe!
and a few days after this sentencing happens his news will be relegated to page 10 or pg 21 and we will have a false sense of security and we will move back into our mundane lives with ease….we ask for change every day. we ask for the system to change. we ask for the police to change, the government to change—but do we change ourselves! do we stop bribing the cop that catches us breaking a traffic light? do we stop bribing politicians and stop asking for favours…do we start being the change we want to see?! make a change in your own life…even if it is only to make urself feel happy for an hour or so…a happier you..will help ur workplace with ur happier mood and that in turn will help ur job and ur day! if a small change we make can go such a long way….think of all the things we can do to make the changes we want to see…stop laying the blame on the media, our sports people, actors or politicians…let’s each be responsible for the future we’d like to live!
if 26/11 taught me one thing; it was that life was far too short to not live every moment IN THE MOMENT! rather than taking the fear and the anger away; i’m going to focus on making every second of mine count cos qasab or no qasab one day we all gotta go…don’t we?!
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so it’s been a while with the posts and that has been entirely due to disastrous health issues….first the back and then an asthma attack & the flu rolled into one! it’s been a tough coupla days….but today i had to write!
the qasab verdict is out! and he is (surprise, surprise !!) guilty! FINALLY!
17 months down the line we can punish one of the several terrorists who held our city hostage for those 48 hrs….with photographic evidence , i’m not sure why we needed to make hundred’s of witnesses relive the trauma of that night…but atleast the verdict is finally in!
what is interesting however is the way the newspapers talk of him…i read of his fondness for bollywood and lata mangeshkar in a paper today and about his well formed, beautiful hands…now i’m sorry—i don’t think we need to idolize a known terrorist…i don’t think we need to make a martyr out of him or create a fallen hero! maybe, having written my play ‘A Personal war’  which covers stories of survivors from the terror attacks maybe i have  an undercurrent of unreleased anger but i think that his fondness for his family and love for his siblings maybe ’sweet ‘ for some but alot of people that died that day also had parents and siblings….whom they were equally fond of , if not more fond of!
Maybe the press is trying to ‘humanize’ a terrorist…make us see that he was more than a mechanical gun-toting robot!
i don’t know. but i’m not interested. i’d rather celebrate the lives we saved that day, the lives that saved others…..the lives who fight every day because they can’t get the image of a crazed, bullet-showerring lunatic from their head…
i’d rather know about what they eat for breakfast today and whether they still like bollywood…i’d rather celebrate OUR HEROES than make a hero of a cowardly terrorist who senselessly and ruthelessly killed hundreds.
i’d rather celebrate OUR HEROES!
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